


Element of Surprise

by Emmayame



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Feels, Bad Decisions, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, That turn out to be great, post-Meridian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-11-13 16:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11189289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmayame/pseuds/Emmayame
Summary: If you ignore your feelings, eventually they will go away. When this brilliant strategy fails, Amelia Ryder decides it’s time for drastic measures. A certain someone on Kadara has the same thought.Welcome to my first fic ever! Several chapters are on the way, and I really hope it will be enjoyable for you! If it is – or even if it isn’t - please let me know :)





	1. A different approach

Being a Pathfinder required many skills. Combat proficiency, strategic thinking, ability to inspire people… The list was rather long. However, if anyone asked Amelia Ryder what was the most important quality of a Pathfinder, she would say it was patience. She inherited hers from her mother and, according to Scott, left him completely devoid of it as a result.

A lot of people she worked with admired her for the uncanny ability to tolerate any kind of stupid antics. Gil jokingly called it her superpower. Cora smiled proudly and said she would make an excellent matriarch. Peebee vowed she would keep trying until she made her lose it, and that little stunt of hers involving a dive into an active volcano came pretty close to achieving the goal. Not that Ryder would ever admit it.

And it was her patience that made the Initiative leadership decide that no matter, be it planning the next step of colonisation or the next week’s menu for the canteen, could be discussed without her. The human Pathfinder was now a buffer in the highest officials’ head-butting contests. They were figurative head-butting contests, of course, though sometimes Kesh seemed just angry enough to make them literal.

It wasn’t that Amelia hated this role. She disliked unnecessary conflicts, which probably was the very reason she constantly found herself eyeballs deep in quarrels of all sizes and shapes. Fighting she could do, and well, but it was only her second favourite option.

And now, stranded on Meridian with nothing better to do, she kind of made the whole keeping-the-Initiative-leaders-from-strangling-each-other thing her pet project. It was difficult, but she was able to keep everyone’s explosive emotions at bay, and a couple of times even made them agree on something without pulling a sour face. She knew it was a silly notion, but she actually wanted them to get along. At least sometimes.

The window Ryder was standing by reflected her wan smile. She came to the docking area almost every day to check on the Tempest. She couldn’t do anything to actually speed up the repairs, so she decided she would at least visit. And glare at the workers from behind the glass until they got the message and hurried the hell up.

It became a ritual of sorts. She would come here, stare at her ship, and think of the countless matters that begged for her attention. Because if she crammed her head with thoughts about supply chains, resource allocation and the probability of using remnant technology in order to boost crop yields, no space was left for anything else. Most importantly, thanks to that her traitorous mind had no chance of delving back into the memories of a certain third-rate-smuggler-turned-crime-lord she’d been struggling to forget.

In a sudden flash of purple and blue, a pair of gloved hands landed on her eyes, effectively ending the reverie.

“Guess who?” a cheerful voice sang into her ear.

“Are there any options?” Amelia snorted. “My favourite asari … doctor Lexi T’Perro, of course!”

“Ugh,” Peebee removed her palms and turned the Pathfinder around. After a quick scrutiny of her friend’s face she stated, “Yup, you are in a mood. Again.”

Amelia frowned. “There is no mood. I was just … ”

“Moping?” the asari supplied helpfully.

Ryder folded her arms and answered with the most unimpressed look she could manage.

Peebee threw her hands up in exasperation. “Come on, Lia! We both know you need to get out of here, or you’ll go crazy! If you don’t care about your own well being, at least consider mine, because looking at this stupid stoic face of yours is killing me!” she accentuated her point by squeezing the Pathfinder’s cheeks as if she was trying to forcibly arrange her expression into one she didn’t find life-threatening.

Amelia swatted the offending appendages away, a small but real smile lighting up her features. For the rest of the crew it took some time to adjust to Peebee’s whimsical personality, but they two hit it off almost immediately. While sharing a passion for discovery and cheesy romantic comedies, their otherwise completely different personalities perfectly balanced one another. She was a fantastic friend, and the only one who Amelia could talk to about anything at all. However, that also meant it was impossible to fool her.

The futility of her attempts never stopped her from trying.

“I’ve held on so far, haven’t I? It can’t be much longer,” Amelia replied, lifting her shoulder in a half shrug. It was sweet of Peebee to worry, really, but she was fine. How couldn’t she be? The Archon got what he deserved. Her brother was safe and recuperating. Meridian was theirs. She would be back to her work ... sooner or later. What else was there to wish for?

Peebee rolled her eyes. “That’s what you said last week! I even think you used the exact same words!”

Amelia started to object, but the asari cut her short.

“Don’t wanna hear it! All right, let me put it that way,” she let out a long-suffering sigh, catching Ryder’s gaze and holding it. “You need a break. You can be sensible and admit it yourself, or I will _make_ you admit it.”

Punctuating her last sentence by pointing a threatening finger in Amelia’s face, the rogue academic strolled away.

“Pathfinder, your meeting with director Tann starts in 5 minutes,” SAM’s calm voice reminded.

“Joy of joys,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“The rising level of cortisol in your blood suggests otherwise, Pathfinder. Are you being sarcastic?” the AI inquired after a short pause.

That little experiment started about a week ago. She decided that her frustration and the resulting abundance of sarcastic remarks could at least serve as a crash course in the matter for her AI companion. And as another much-needed distraction for her.

“You are getting good at this, SAM,” a corner of her mouth quirked up. “What’s the current score?”

“11 out of 32. I still require more data for comparative analysis.”

“Don’t worry. By the look of things, you’ll get plenty of it.”

Drawing in a long breath and letting it out slowly, she cast one last longing glance at the Tempest and headed to the director’s office.

***

Half an hour into the meeting - the third in one day - she realised that her famed patience started fraying. She kept telling herself the salarian meant well. That his insistence on analyzing her every decision for flaws was just in his character. That he probably couldn’t help it.

It didn’t work. She felt time slow to a torturous crawl, and the impulse to snap at the unsuspecting Initiative director grew harder and harder to ignore.

She remembered Vetra’s ugly lamp story and decided to use the same trick. Her searching eyes swept the room for potential distractions. To her disappointment, the office’s owner preferred to keep his working space neat and devoid of any decorations, of questionable style or otherwise. Her gaze then shifted to the large window that took up almost one whole wall, and she sighed in relief. Thank god Tann was so picky. This was arguably the best view that the newly built administration block could offer.

Though it had been almost a month since they clawed their way to victory, claiming Meridian for their own, Amelia still couldn’t get used to the beauty of this place. The harsh steel of its cliffs, the vibrant emerald of the grass, and flowers of so many hues that she had difficulty naming them all. It wasn’t often that she had time to spare, but she used every chance she got to slip outside and just roam around, watching Initiative personnel slowly, but surely turn Meridian into a home.

She noticed a pair of engineers setting up a comm antennae on the roof of a nearby prefab. Unlike her, the two were definitely having a good time. The girl couldn’t stop laughing at something her fellow worker was saying. Judging by the proud grin on his face, that was exactly the reaction he had hoped for.

Seeing people so happy and excited warmed her heart. Sure, she enjoyed the spirit of adventure, the thrill of discovery that being the Pathfinder provided, but knowing that she could help - had helped - so many was the reason that made the job so important to her.

“ ...nder Ryder?” Tann’s voice snapped Ryder back to her less-than-perfect reality. The salarian looked pleased with himself for some reason. That was always a bad sign. She tried, but couldn’t for the life of her remember the topic of his latest bout of droning.

“I see my arguments are finally getting through to you,” the director said, approval evident in his tone.

“Well, they are quite compelling,” she answered evasively, fishing her memory for a clue to what he was on about.

“Then by the time I conclude my explanation, you will definitely change your mind about appointing the Moshae our interim ambassador,” he replied cheerfully.

Oh no, not that again.

“So, like I’ve just stated, the repercussions…” Tann continued, but Amelia tuned him out immediately, returning to observing the engineers’ work with renewed determination.

It seemed they decided to take a lunch break. The girl rummaged through her bag and pulled out a couple of ration bars, and the pair sat down at the edge of the roof, shoulder to shoulder, eating and talking animatedly. When they were done with the bars, the guy retrieved a bottle of water and offered it to his companion. She took a couple of swallows and passed it back.

Amelia’s breath caught on the intake, her gaze dropping to the floor.

She made herself inhale and exhale. Once, twice. In and out. She was simply tired. It was difficult to keep her overactive mind in check when she was in this state. It was a completely different place, a completely different roof, and the sight didn’t remind her of anything. It most certainly didn’t remind her of _him_.

What she thought she remembered was just a bunch of lies anyway. Lies that she believed so eagerly. So stupidly. But that was in the past. She had learned her lesson and gotten over it. She _had_.

She exhaled and reprimanded herself for this stupid slip. This was all Lexie’s fault. No matter how many times she assured her she was ready to get back in the field, the doctor still hadn’t budged. Amelia didn’t want to resort to begging, but it was possibly her only option by now. Or maybe she would just steal the Tempest from the dry dock. Surely Gil and Kallo could finish patching the ship up on their own.

Her composure restored, she lifted her gaze and tried to pay attention to the director. The attempt failed miserably, and she found herself staring at the pair on the roof yet again.

The witty engineer had probably cracked another joke, as the girl was laughing so hard that she was in serious danger of falling off. He must have thought so too, because he steadied her with an arm over her shoulders. Eventually, she seemed to calm, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he leaned even closer and captured her smiling lips in a kiss.

Amelia stood up so fast the chair she was sitting on almost toppled to the floor. She muttered something about a forgotten appointment and was out the door before startled Tann could say anything.

She rounded the nearest corner and pressed her forehead to the cool metal of the wall, squeezing her eyes shut. But behind her eyelids, she still saw Govorkam’s amber light. Still tasted the smoky tang of whiskey on her lips. Still felt the warmth seeping into her skin from a gloved hand caressing her cheek.

She pushed off the wall and rushed down the corridor at the fastest pace possible without breaking into a run, a tumble of emotions she didn’t want to identify rolling through her.

She needed to get away. She needed to be alone, to clear her head. She needed a task that would occupy her mind.

Something. _Anything_.

She was halfway to her living quarters when her omni-tool chimed a new message alert. Hopeful, Ryder opened the inbox, her eyes quickly scanning the text. As she read on, her steps began to slow, until she stopped completely.

The request was just what she needed. She wouldn’t be gone too long, so there was no reason for anybody to start worrying, but it would be long enough to deal with … whatever her situation was.

She made a mental checklist: gather some supplies, pack her custom armour and weapons, grab Zap, then head to the port.

The rational part of her mind protested that this was absurd and reckless, but Amelia decidedly ignored it. Being rational hadn’t helped her so far.

It was time to try a different approach.


	2. A coincidence

Since he was a kid, Reyes wanted to become a pilot. He could even recall the exact moment when the idea first formed in his head.

He got sick and missed school. That happened quite often when he was little, and his mother invented a special routine to make him feel better. She would bake his favourite gingersnaps, wrap him in an enormous fuzzy blanket, and let him watch any movie he wanted. One day the cover art of an old space opera caught his attention - mainly because he thought the ships looked funny. But several hours and episodes later he was possibly the biggest fan of one of the main characters - an exceptional pilot and witty smuggler, who even managed to steal the heart of a princess. He wanted to be just like him when he grew up.

Though he didn’t set out to be a criminal - not at first, in any case - he came pretty close to realizing his childhood dream fully.

He did become an exceptional pilot. Flying was like second nature to Reyes, and at the academy he had to make a conscious effort to not let it show. He never cared for the spotlight. Being underestimated, however, provided an advantage that most people overlooked.

Serving in the Alliance was an invaluable experience, but he didn’t want to stop at that. He needed something bigger. Then he heard of the Initiative and knew what that “something bigger” was.

So he took the next step. Made an unlikely journey to a whole new galaxy. Mastered the fine art of smuggling and brought his criminal career to a whole new level. He got everything he wanted and more. Except for one thing.

The lack of it was the reason why Reyes found himself here, in the Solminae system. While his shuttle was orbiting the stormy grey sphere of Suuricco, his thoughts were revolving around their own centre of gravity.

_“Amelia Ryder.”_

_The sound of her name echoed in the throne room and hung in the air like fog. It never ceased to amaze him how a bunch of syllables could be as effective as a weapon. Trapped in the confines of his mind, the words only caused a dull, persistent ache that coursed through him, swelling and waning, but never fading completely. Once set free, they hurt worse than a knife to the gut._

_Suppressing a wince, Reyes finished his abandoned whiskey and shifted his gaze from the far-off mountain peaks behind the window that he didn’t really see to meet Keema’s knowing eyes._

_His answering smile probably couldn't be identified as such, but Reyes didn’t exactly care. “Can’t keep anything from you, can I?”_

_The angara wasn’t impressed. She leaned across the table, as if reducing the distance between them would somehow help her get the point across, and he could almost feel the concern radiating from Kadara’s pretend ruler._

_“You two just need to talk.”_

_Excellent advice. As if he hadn’t tried. Apparently, he wasn’t one of those people who could_ just _talk to the Pathfinder. Not anymore._

_“I doubt that it can be arranged,” he said, staring down into the empty tumbler in his hand._

_To her credit, Keema didn’t continue that line of discussion. “All right. I have an alternative offer for you, then.”_

_Well, at least that was new. “By all means, offer away.”_

_“A couple of centuries back, there was an angaran colony in a nearby system. A friend from the museum on Aya says there are valuable relics there, and she’s asked for my assistance in retrieving them. The job is simple and well-paid,” she made a pause to try and catch his gaze. “Why don’t you go there?”_

_“You honestly believe I don’t have anything better to do?” he scoffed._

_“I_ believe _that it will do you good. You’ve barely left Tartarus since we got rid of Sloane,” she exclaimed, waving at the throne, ”and I had to send you a dozen emails to get you to come here today.”_

_He knew the angara meant well and her efforts to help were sincere, but he didn’t need to be saved._

_“Your concern is appreciated, Keema,” he said levelly, standing up. “Thanks for the drink!”_

_He’d almost reached the door when she called out to him._

_"The offer stands, so think about it!”_

_Without stopping or turning around, Reyes raised his hand in a short wave and exited into the hallway. As he was making his way out of the palace and to the marketplace, the same old questions kept turning in his head. At that point, they didn’t even demand to be answered. They just repeated over and over again in an endless loop, like a distress signal that had no hope of being received._

_How did she get past his defences? Could he have prevented it? Did he even want to?_

_Would he ever see her again?_

_He thought he had the matter under control. He’d pushed the memories to the deepest recesses of his mind and buried them beneath all the distractions he could possibly get. Every time his thoughts threatened to pull him under, he doubled his workload. But it was all in vain._

_It was like trying to build a sandcastle too close to the water's edge. No matter how sturdy you thought it was, no matter how high its walls rose, it would come crumbling down in a heartbeat when a wave rolled in. Sometimes it was a laugh that sounded almost like hers. Sometimes it was a flash of copper hair in a crowd. Or a hint of jasmine in the wind, just barely noticeable against the background of the port’s penetrating smells._

_Just like at that very moment._

_Reyes stopped walking even before his brain sent the command. His careful eyes scanned the busy street, a glimmer of hope flickering to life in his chest._

_She was standing with her back to him, leaning on the railing next to the corner shop. The same vibrant hair that reached just past her chin, the same plain light grey uniform. For a moment he just stared, afraid to move, as if what he was seeing was just a mirage that would dissolve if he as much as blinked. But she didn’t disappear. She was still there, some fifty feet away from him._

_Reyes moved forward slowly, not letting her out of his sight, his pulse quickening as the distance between them dwindled. She must have sensed that he was watching and turned around._

_Instead of warm hazel, his gaze met cold blue, and the smile froze on his lips._

Reyes sighed, turning away from the planet beneath him to check the nav point Keema had sent.

It seemed that she was right after all. Judging by the way his imagination and wishful thinking got the better of him in the market earlier today, his coping mechanisms had reached their limit. Losing control like that was unacceptable. He had to get a grip.

Flying off all by himself to play archaeologist on an unfamiliar planet was hardly a wise move, but maybe that was exactly what he needed to snap out of it.

Decision made, he plotted a course to the landing zone and initiated atmospheric entry.

The abandoned angaran colony was near the equator - the only region where Suuricco’s climate could be called passable in the past. Now, with the vaults doing their job, the readings from the Collective’s satellite over Avelosa confirmed that the conditions improved quite a bit. The planet could now boast a pleasant daytime temperature that didn't call for enhanced life support and several layers of thermal insulation.

When the orange glow that accompanied passing through the atmosphere abated, Reyes was greeted with a truly amazing view. It looked like Suuricco had actual forests. They covered the sharp mountain ridges and stretched out into the valleys, decorated with silvery blue ribbons of rivers. In the warm light of Solminae the colours seem unusually vivid, making the place look like one of the idyllic photos from Initiative’s brochures.

He began monitoring the planet because of its advantageous position and resources, but now that he was here, the idea to place one of the Collective’s bases of operations on Suuricco started to seem even more attractive.

This trip was actually turning out to be worthwhile. Even if there were no angaran relics to be found, during the search he could check the situation planetside and make an informed final decision concerning the base.

He landed the shuttle at the edge of the forest. According to the map, he needed to pass through it and hike a bit higher along the nearby ridge to get to the site where the colony was located. The forest didn’t look that thick, the sun was still high in the sky, and if he stayed vigilant there was no real potential for trouble. He had a couple of guns on him, so even if he did come across a challyrion or two, disposing of them would not pose a problem. After one last check of the gear, Reyes left the shuttle and headed to the trees.

At a closer look they turned out to be very similar to the ones back on Earth, except for the unusual star-shaped leaves. Nestled between the trunks, there were clusters of bright green, fern-like plants that almost reached his waist. A warm breeze was moving through the branches, rustling the leaves and making the bright spots of sunlight dance beneath his feet. The forest looked surprisingly ordinary for a galaxy 2.5 million light-years away from home and sounded just like it should.

Up until the moment he heard the _music_.

Reyes stopped dead in his track. He listened intently, but it definitely wasn’t a trick of the wind. It was there, and it wasn’t just any music - it was jazz. He checked his omnitool, thinking that it might have glitched, but the sound was coming from somewhere to his left.

He had checked the data before leaving Kadara Port. The records showed no signs of any vessels approaching the planet during the whole time the satellite was active. It could only mean that someone landed here while he was still en-route.

He briefly considered returning to his shuttle, but then the music was joined by a female voice.

He saw only two possible options here. Either there was some kind of hallucinogenic pollen in the air, or someone was actually singing. After a short moment of berating himself for curiosity, he headed to the left.

As he crept closer to the source of the music, the words of the song became clearer.

_Crazy he calls me_

_Sure, I'm crazy_

_Crazy in love, you see..._

If that was a hallucination after all, he had to admire its quality, as the voice was actually quite beautiful, soft and gently lilting. And, judging by the rising volume, its owner was really close now.

There were especially many ferns around there, so he stopped behind a tree and waited. He wasn’t sure what exactly he had expected to see, but it certainly wasn’t a Remnant observer. And even that would be fine, if not for the person that came into view right after the VI.

It was like he had never even left Kadara. He was back in the market, and his heart was once again beating a frantic rhythm in his chest.

The singing girl was facing away from him, but he could clearly see her copper hair and the light grey armour she was wearing. She put something inside a bag slung over her shoulder and kneeled back down, disappearing from sight once again together with her remnant companion.

All right, there appeared to be a third option. Apparently, he might have gone mad.

But it still wouldn’t hurt to check.

He stepped away from the tree and slowly walked closer, his steps silent on the soft forest floor. He couldn’t really think of something to say, so he modified his customary line.

“You look like you ... aren’t waiting for anyone.”

The singing stopped, and a moment after so did the music. She rose back up, but didn’t turn around.

“SAM, are you monitoring my brain activity?” the voice sounded just as tremulous as his, but it was _her_ voice.

“Yes, Pathfinder,” came the AI’s answer.

“Am I hallucinating now?”

“Auditory hallucinations involve false perception of sounds. In this case, the external stimulus was indeed present,” SAM replied.

“Okay,” she breathed, but didn’t move.

“I suggest that you turn around, Ryder,” the AI insisted.

“Okay,” she repeated.

It felt like it took her forever to do it, but she did turn, her eyes never leaving the ground, a blush burning across her cheeks. She claimed it was difficult to elicit that particular reaction from her, and maybe that was true for most people, but he had never had that problem.

He missed that blush.

He missed her.

The silence between them stretched out. Reyes’ head was probably for the first time in a long while devoid of any thoughts, until a single word bubbled up to the surface of his mind.

“Surprise?”

Apparently, that was a wrong thing to say.

Her hazel eyes flew up to his face, but there was a burning intensity in them.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice tight like a string about to snap.

He couldn’t say exactly what he was hoping for, but it wasn’t _that_.

It was incredibly difficult to knock Reyes out of balance, and he could count the occasions when he was intensely affected by something on one hand and still have fingers to spare. The girl in front of him had already managed to do it once, but it seemed that she wasn’t going to settle at that.

His eyes narrowed, and he took a step toward her, then another. And one more. He continued his slow, deliberate approach until he was right in front of her. He was taller, and she had to tilt her head up to keep their eyes locked, but apart from that she didn’t move an inch.

“I could ask you the same question,” he replied, his voice deceptively calm.

She either didn’t notice the dangerous edge to it, or didn’t care. Somehow Reyes was certain it was the latter.

“I am the Pathfinder. I have all reasons to travel anywhere in this cluster. Unlike _you_.”

He couldn’t understand why she was so angry. She hadn’t even confronted him after the standoff. She put her favourite stoic Pathfinder’s mask right back on, made him promise that no harm would come to the outpost and then simply disappeared. He didn’t understand any of it, and that made him angry in turn.

“And since when does the human Pathfinder, the epitome of professionalism, travel on missions alone?” he inquired snidely.

Just like Reyes knew it would, the question had struck a nerve. She inhaled a sharp breath and was definitely about to answer him in kind, but he had to cover her lips with his hand, his eyes darting away from her face to scan their surroundings.

There was some kind of movement in the forest around them. She must have caught it too, as she didn’t try to lower his hand, her eyes travelling from left to right and then focusing on something behind him. For the span of several heartbeats it was quiet, but then they heard a low growl that was soon echoed from seemingly all directions.

Reyes slowly removed his palm from the Pathfinder’s lips. Their eyes met once again, and, surprisingly, they both came to the same conclusion.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things might've gotten a bit strange in this chapter!  
> Hope I haven't gone completely overboard :D  
> As usual, I would love nothing better than to hear what you think about this madness of mine, so that I could make the story better!


	3. A distraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The slowest writer in history strikes again! First of all, I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. Second, but no less important, thank you to everyone who's read, and my eternal love to all the wonderful people who have left comments and kudos. You make me so happy that I'll never be able to convey it properly <3  
> Like always, I hope you enjoy the new chapter! ;)

For a seemingly bad decision, this one was turning out pretty great.

Having spent most of her life on the Citadel, Amelia was fascinated by nature and its beauty. Growing up in the beating heart of the galaxy certainly had its perks, but this heart was made of metal and glass. She longed to see the living, breathing worlds that beckoned her from the countless pictures and vids she kept stashed away on her omnitool. 

She still remembered the first time when dad took them to Earth. She and Scott were nine years old, and it was the only time she saw the ocean. The warm, salty breeze, the silky sand under her bare feet, the sunshine dancing on the boundless expanse of waves...  It was so breathtaking, so overwhelming that she couldn’t help it and started crying. Even though her brother teased her mercilessly about that, it was a memory she treasured.

And now, strolling through a real forest on what turned out to be one of the most beautiful planets in Heleus, with Zap cheerfully whirring beside her and SAM supplying nerdy comments that she never seemed to get enough of, Amelia felt better than she had in weeks. She slowly wove her way between the trees, taking in both familiar and unusual details of the place. The forest was a rich tapestry of greens - emerald, lime and olive - stitched together with threads of golden light. It was lush without being oppressive like on Havarl, and she could see quite far into the distance. She even spotted a cave entrance at the base of the moss-covered cliffs on her far left. The sight made her frown and somewhat dampened her poetic mood.

According to SAM, Suuricco’s mountains were honeycombed with caverns and tunnels, but Ryder wasn’t too keen on exploring them. She’d never told anyone, and managed to hide it pretty well, but caves creeped the hell out of her. They made her feel trapped, and taking into account her abhorrent sense of direction, the threat they posed to her well-being was very much real. Even if that weren’t enough, her last visit to Kadara provided her with another, very personal reason to hate them. 

Pathfinder Ryder had no right to be anything but fearless. Right now, however, she was just Amelia, and Amelia would most definitely not come near a cave unless a pack of rabid eirochs was on her heels.    

Local flora, on the contrary, interested her a great deal. Even if it wasn’t the primary objective of her trip, finding some new useful plants would be a very nice bonus. In addition, she knew a botanist from the Nexus who would be ecstatic to receive some new samples to play with.         

So she kept her eyes on the forest floor, and soon noticed a quite promising patch of what looked like weird purple dandelions. Pleased with her find, she knelt down to scan it.

“It appears that this flower can act as an antipyretic, Pathfinder,” SAM commented.         

Ryder grinned. “That’s just music to my ears! Let’s get to work, then.”

She dug through her bag and fished out a plastic container and a trowel. 

“Speaking of music… SAM, could you please play my favourite track?” she asked, starting to carefully loosen the soil around one of the plants.

“I should point out that excessive noise may attract attention to our presence, Ryder,” the AI said.

Amelia snorted. “I seriously doubt that any remotely intelligent creature can find my voice attractive. Think of it as an intimidation tactic!”    

If SAM had eyes, she was sure he would roll them, but after a short silence, a gentle jazz tune filled the air around her. The hand with the trowel stilled, and her eyes closed as she let the music fill her senses. She listened to the melody hundreds of times, and it was still as beautiful as the first time she’d heard it in that absolutely surreal old-fashioned jazz club on the Citadel.

Ryder could hardly survive a day without music, and it was no secret to anyone who rode in the Nomad with her or just happened to find themselves in the general vicinity of the Pathfinder’s quarters in the morning. What she didn’t let on was that she loved to sing just as much. No one needed to suffer from being exposed to  _ that _ , so she only indulged herself when she was sure no one could hear her. And now was one of those rare moments.

She smiled, opened her eyes and started singing. 

Her hands returned to their work on the flower, moving in time with the rhythm of the song. She’d done it so many times by now that she didn’t even need to think about the process. Once she felt the roots were loose enough, Amelia gently pulled the plant out of the ground and placed it into the container. She stood up and packed it into her bag, then knelt down once more to clean the trowel.

And then she heard the voice. 

_ His  _ voice.

Her song stopped, and so did her heart. 

The planet might’ve stopped turning too, but she didn’t think she’d notice. 

Was she going crazy? 

SAM would know. So she asked him, and he said the voice was real.

And that meant...

_ Reyes. _

The name left Amelia’s lips in a soundless whisper.

It was soft like falling snow. It reverberated through her like deafening thunder. 

Her pulse roared back to life as her heart echoed it and sent it thrumming through her veins, growing louder and louder, both gentle and powerful, pleading and demanding, hopeful and desperate as it swept through her, stoking the feeling that she’d tried so hard to quell. 

She felt powerless to fight it.

But she had to.

Because it was all a lie.

The man she thought she knew, who seemed the only one who had seen her for who she was and still looked at her as if she  _ mattered _ , didn’t exist. There was no Reyes. There was only the Charlatan, for whom she was nothing but a chess piece. A mindless, but useful pawn that he moved around the board as he pleased.

“Surprise!” he spoke up again, just like he’d done back there in that cave in Draullir, and the memory sent a wave of anger through her.

She was done being used.

When she snapped her gaze to him, though, it was all she could do not to let her voice quiver. 

“What are you doing here?”

For the tiniest fraction of a second it seemed to her that there was a flicker of hurt in his whiskey-coloured eyes, but she pushed the ridiculous thought out of her mind. Imagining things that weren't there was a mistake that she wouldn't repeat.

Even if with every step he took toward her her stupid, oblivious heart beat faster and faster, thrashing in her chest like a wild bird locked up in a cage.

Even if when he stopped right in front of her, every inch of her skin silently screamed for him to touch her.

She  _ wouldn’t _ .

So she clung to her anger like a lifeline, hoping that her failing reason would hold out long enough.

It turned out that she didn’t need to worry about that at all.

Instead, she needed to worry about his hand over her lips. And probably about the sudden feeling of being watched by many pairs of invisible eyes.

And definitely about the chorus of snarls that erupted around them.

Challyrions. A whole lot of them.

Judging by their identical tactical analysis consisting of one single expletive, he shared her opinion on the situation.

It looked like their heart-to-heart would have to wait.

“Any suggestions, Pathfinder?” he inquired in a low voice, reaching for the assault rifle on his back.

The heavy weight of the Carnifex in her hand had somewhat calmed her, but not by much. 

“Just turn around and try not to get chewed on.” 

“Such an elegant strategy.”

Exchanging one last glare, they turned back to back.

And the forest descended into chaos.

One after the other the challyrions flickered out of camouflage. They charged forward, spraying up earth behind them as sharp claws raked through the soil. She counted five of them, and those were just the ones she  _ could  _ see.

_ Where the hell did this horde even come from?  _

The air filled with ozone as her biotics flared to life in a flash of sapphire blue. She let the energy course through her, swelling like a tide, and sent it out in a chain of explosions.    

Then, just like her father had taught her, she concentrated on keeping her breathing steady as she picked off creature after creature with precise, lethal shots. 

But they still kept coming.

“A little help on my side wouldn’t hurt!” her unlikely companion shouted over the rattle of gunfire.

“Only if you take over mine while I’m at it,” she shouted back, spinning on her heels with another shockwave ready to burst from her fingertips...

… and barely had time to release it before one of the beasts’ jaws closed around her forearm. The challyrion crashed into several more behind it as the violent pulse sent it flying, and she finished them all off with a couple more well-placed shots.

For a second it seemed that it was over, and she took a deep inhale to let it out in a relieved sigh.

And had to hold it, because even more of the nasty creatures appeared in the clearing. 

She cursed under her breath and slammed a fresh clip home. 

Even with Zap’s assistance, they were having a hard time fighting the scaly monstrosities off. She threw up a shield around them both whenever she could, but several splashes of acid still landed on her arm and leg. Judging by the bouts of swearing that came from behind her back, her ally was having similar problems.

And then she ran out of ammo.

“Switching to melee, try not to shoot my head off!” she exclaimed, charging at the nearest challyrion, her asari sword slicing the air in a shining arc of light.

“Please, I’m an excellent shot!” his voice sounded clearly offended, and she would very much enjoy that fact if she weren’t concentrating on keeping her limbs attached to her body.

She’d lost count of her kills long ago, and she was starting to feel drained from overuse of biotics. But it looked like the seemingly infinite supply of the local fauna had finally come to an end.

It was a good thing because now they were both out of ammo.

She rounded on the last predator in sight and propelled herself toward it. The force of the impact knocked the animal to the ground, and her blade ran through the side of its head with a wet crunch. Standing up from her half-kneeling position, she pulled on the hilt, but the weapon refused to slide out.

“Seriously?” she muttered, pulling harder to no avail.

With her focus solely on the sword, she didn’t notice the subtle shift of the ferns to her right. What made her whip around was a combination of a low growl and a shout of her name.

Still she wasn’t fast enough. The challyrion pounced on her and she fell backwards, hitting her head on something hard. Black spots erupted in her eyes as she fumbled for her biotics, but it slipped from her grasp. She gathered all her strength and kicked the creature off of her, but it just poised for another attack.

Through the throbbing haze, she could see its claws rise above her…

… only to be swept to the side in a blur of grey and brown as a human figure tackled it off of her.  

The ringing in her ears muffled, but didn’t drown out completely the vicious snarls of the animal and its yelp of pain. As its echo died out, silence descended on the forest once more.    

Her movements jerky and unsteady, she scrambled to her feet. Panic flooded her senses as she looked over the ferns where they disappeared.

“Reyes?” she called, her voice coming out brittle and faint.

No movement. No response.

A challyrion could seriously wound a man in proper armour, and he didn’t even have  _ that _ .

“Reyes!” she cried, much louder this time, icy shards of fear piercing her like knives.

Nothing.

It took her numb, trembling fingers four tries to activate the scanner. When the interface lit up, she slowly moved the beam from right to left, concentrating on keeping it steady. 

The orange light coalesced into the shape of the challyrion. It wasn’t moving. And right next to it, just as motionless...

She staggered into the mass of plants, wading through them like a green river. Her gaze slid over the knife handle sticking from the predator’s eye and landed on Reyes’ still form. It seemed like she dove underwater when she dropped to her knees beside him, cupping his face in her hands, stroking her thumb over the streak of blood on his cheek. 

Tears burned in her eyes as she whispered his name.

She waited. And waited. But he didn’t move.

Her panic gave way to terror, and she couldn’t seem to draw another breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the nightmare to end. Because it was clearly some kind of sick dream. It could  _ not  _ be happening.

“Amelia,” SAM’s voice barely registered against the mad staccato of her heart, “please calm down. I have detected Mr. Vidal’s pulse. Its rate is within normal range.”

At first, she didn’t understand a word.

But then she heard a resigned sigh, followed by Reyes’ voice. 

“Thank you for your timely input, SAM.”

She opened her eyes to find Reyes looking at her.

The first thing she felt was relief. It melted away the ice in her blood, leaving her lightheaded. 

But then she realised that he must have heard her calling. And that he’d been clearly conscious when she’d found him.

“You are welcome, Mr. Vidal,” the AI answered. 

If she were in a normal state, she would probably point out that his algorithm had failed to recognise sarcasm yet again.

But she wasn’t. There was  _ nothing  _ normal about the way she was feeling.

Reyes was still watching her, and there were sparks of something dangerously close to amusement dancing in his eyes. 

“I didn't know you cared,” he said, the slight smirk tugging at his lips growing wider and wider.

She opened her mouth, trying to say something. She was sure she had something to say, something about how  _ she thought he was dead _ and how it  _ wasn’t fucking funny _ , but the words just wouldn’t come out.

She snatched her hands away and stood up, swaying slightly as her dizziness intensified. Then she turned around and headed back to the clearing.

“Amelia, wait!” he called behind her, but she had no intention of stopping.

She didn’t even understand what she was feeling anymore. Her emotions had tangled into such a tight knot that she couldn’t discern one from the other. Part of her wanted to explode at him for that abhorrent practical joke. But the other part, much more insistent, screamed at her to pay attention to the fact that he had just endangered himself to  _ save her life _ . 

She didn’t know what to think, so she just shut it all out and kept walking, her eyes firmly on the ground.

“Okay, it wasn’t funny!”

Pausing only to rip her sword from the challyrion’s head, this time with relative ease, she continued forward.

And then he grabbed her by the hand, forcing her to stop.

“Please, just listen,” he asked, and the way his voice sounded turned the sparks his touch had evoked into a full-fledged electrical storm.

She realised with perfect clarity that if she let Reyes speak, her last defences would crumble into dust.

Almost wishing for another pack of challyrions to provide a distraction, she was about to tell him to let go. But when her gaze lifted, it picked out a large moving shape in the distance, heading their way. Then another. And one more.

At some other time she’d probably find the situation hilarious, but now was not one of those times.

“Are those… eirochs?” 

So he’d seen them too. Excellent. And she hoped she’d just hit her head too hard…

With no ammo, no cover to speak of and the way back to the shuttle cut off, there weren’t that many options left to choose from. In fact, only one.

Run like hell.

The only question was where. Where could they run to with a pack of eirochs at their heels?

The thought triggered the memory of her earlier walk through the forest.

And just like that, she had her answer, even though it made her wince.


	4. Before

_Three eirochs._

On Kadara, it was a common occurrence for the creatures to wander too close to the Collective’s outposts. The bare minimum required to take down one was either four people armed with heavy rifles, or six in case of lighter weapons. Only once his men had to face two beasts at the same time, and despite the fact that the number of agents and their weaponry were more than adequate, the fight did not end without casualties.  

There were three eirochs stomping through the forest toward the two of them now, and that particular equation didn’t seem to have a solution.

His grip on Amelia’s hand tightened.

“I don’t suppose your shuttle is anywhere behind us?” Reyes asked in a low voice.

She slowly shook her head and took a careful step back, closer to him. “No. But there’s an entrance to a cave system.”

Not the best of options, but they could definitely work with that. All they needed was a plan. And he already had one.   

“An explosion should seal it off. I have a couple of grenades.”    

Amelia nodded and lifted her forearm to input a command on her omni-tool. It wasn’t the time to dwell on such things, but he couldn’t help but notice that instead of trying to shake off his hand, she closed her fingers over his while doing it. It was such a simple thing, but the rush of warmth that filled his chest at that almost made him stagger.

This reunion was nothing like he’d imagined. Everything had spiralled out of control from the very first word, and until he pulled that absolutely idiotic stunt he’d been fairly certain she actually despised him.

But she didn’t.

Maybe he could still fix this.

They only needed to get out of this new predicament first.

With a short noise that sounded distinctly affirmative, her VI shot forward, heading straight to the approaching eirochs.

“Once Zap catches their attention, we run,” she said, walking backwards and pulling him along.

It’d taken only a handful of seconds for the Remnant to reach the creatures. It immediately greeted the nearest with a bright-blue blast right to the muzzle and continued its assault, leading the predators in the opposite direction from its mistress. With a vicious roar, the nearest animal followed, as did the one to the left of it. The third halted, turning its head from side to side, until it focused precisely where it shouldn’t have.

On them.

“And run fast,” Reyes added.

Eyes meeting in a look that was short but very expressive, they spun around and bolted to the cliffs.

The forest turned into a blur of green and brown as they rushed to the towering mass of rock in the distance, not bothering to round the clusters of ferns and crashing right through them instead. Maybe it was just his adrenaline-fueled imagination, but it seemed like the ground started shaking when the eiroch took after them.

 _Of course_ it was too much to hope that it wouldn’t.

The thing was massive, but on this terrain its size was more of a hindrance since it couldn’t pick up speed while the trees were in the way. But they’d soon lose that advantage, as the closer they got to the cliffs, the wider the gaps between the trunks became.

Mercifully, he could already see the black mouth of the cave looming ahead.

One hundred feet.

The eiroch’s menacing growl sounded much louder than before.

Fifty.

The forest gave way to a narrow clearing.

Twenty.

Reyes ripped the grenades off his belt.

Ten feet.

They practically flew into the opening, weaving their way through the stone thickets of stalagmites, and whipped around to find the animal closing in on them. In his peripheral vision he saw Amelia make a sharp motion with her hand, and a singularity burst to life directly below the huge cone-shaped stalactites hanging from the cave’s ceiling.         

“Throw them into the gravity field and get behind me!” she commanded, her voice ringing in the cool, damp air.  

One after the other he flung the grenades right into the vortex. The moment he stepped in place right behind Ryder, a shadow spilled onto the cave floor like black water as the eiroch appeared at the entrance, effectively blocking the outside light. It let out a low snarl and started squeezing inside, undeterred in its desire to tear them apart limb by limb.

Amelia lit up with brilliant blue, shaping the energy into two separate spheres hovering above her outstretched hands like miniature stars. They swirled faster and faster, growing more luminous by the second. Reyes knew enough about basic biotic skills to determine that he wasn’t witnessing one of them.

It looked dangerous.     

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, the words half-drowned by the roar of the singularity and the growling of the eiroch that sounded almost frenzied now.

“No,” she returned simply.

What happened next couldn’t have taken more than a couple of seconds, but it was one of those moments when time slows to near standstill.  

Reyes saw her right arm shift forward, sending a biotic blast to the vortex above. At the same time the left one went up, forming the glowing sphere into a shield that covered them like a dome.

The gravity field detonated in a blinding flash of purple, followed by the white-orange explosions of the grenades.

Light and fire clashed and twirled, expanding outward, swelling and growing like a tide.

Utterly transfixed, he watched it crash down on their protective barrier, completely engulfing it in raging glow.

And then, like someone hit an invisible switch, the cave became dark again.

The shield flickered and died. Amelia swayed slightly, and Reyes steadied her with his hands on her shoulders.   

But it wasn’t over yet.

The beast was disoriented, but still very much alive.

Despite the ringing in his ears he could hear the loud cracking noises coming from above. The ceiling of the cave was collapsing, huge chunks of rock falling down and smashing into pieces across the floor. Two of the stalactites broke off at the base. One fell in front of the eiroch, making it back away.

The other ran right through the animal’s neck, instantly killing it.

The relief Reyes felt was short lived, though, as another section of the ceiling went down mere feet away from them.

They stumbled backwards and darted in the opposite direction, heading deeper into the cave, the rumble of falling stones following them. It took a turn to the right, and when they rounded the corner he just barely managed to stop, Amelia skidding to a halt next to him.

The passage ended in a steep drop, opening into a huge, dimly lit cavern. Several thin shafts of pale gold sunlight pierced the gloom at the far side. Down below, the cavern floor seemed to shift slightly, shimmering like midnight silk.

“Looks like an underground lake,” Reyes shouted over the thunderous noise.

She glanced at the imploding cave walls behind them, then back at him, a strange expression crossing her face.

And then her arms went around his waist.

“You don’t have a jump jet,” she explained quickly, her eyes firmly focused on the precipice.

“And here I thought…” he began, completing the embrace and pulling her closer still.

She cut him off with an exasperated, “Just jump, will you?”

He couldn’t help but grin.

Together, they took a couple of steps back, then dashed forward and over the edge.

The rush of cold air enveloped them, drowning out the sound of the passage they’d emerged from collapsing entirely. The fall seemed much longer than Reyes had anticipated, and suddenly he felt even more grateful for the Pathfinder’s cautious thinking.  

The jump jet activated with a flash of cyan light and a sharp jerk that had them tightening their hold on each other. In precisely three heartbeats they hit the water.

For a moment Reyes’ vision went dark as it closed over his head, pricking his skin like a thousand of knife points. The impact was so strong that it squeezed almost all the air from his lungs. Even with the jet slowing down the fall, they seemed to dive quite deep. The water around them was inky black. It was hard to tell where they needed to swim, but his eyes quickly adjusted and he could see the wan light of the cavern above. Amelia let go of him and pointed upwards.

He hesitated a moment, making sure that she had no trouble swimming up in her hardsuit, and then kicked his legs to follow suit.

Reyes broke the surface with a long gasp, and she emerged in front of him a second later, making a sharp inhale of her own and immediately descending into a coughing fit.

“Shit, it’s freezing!” she exclaimed, struggling to stay afloat.

Teeth starting to clatter, he barked out a laugh. “Says the woman wearing armour with actual life support!”

Reyes could swear that several more heated glares like the one she answered him with had very good chances of warming up the water. He’d have loved to test out that theory, but it was probably safer to just get out of the lake.  

“I think the nearest shore is over there,” he said, tipping his head to point the direction.

She looked behind her shoulder, quickly scanning the area in question. “I think you’re right. Let’s move!”

The distance seemed much larger than he’d first thought, and by the time they dragged themselves out of the water and onto the smooth grey rock his muscles were cramped to the point of near uselessness.

They both rolled to their backs and for a few seconds just lay there, staring at the distant cavern ceiling and panting.

The adrenaline was slowly ebbing away, making the cool stone beneath him less welcoming that it had originally seemed, but he wasn’t keen on the idea of getting up just yet. Judging by the lack of movement on his right, Amelia seemed to share his sentiment. Carefully, he shifted his gaze to look at her.

She lay with her eyes closed, one arm thrown over her head. Her lips were slightly parted. Dark, wet strands of hair clung to her cheek, making her pale skin seem porcelain white.

The sudden urge to brush them away was so strong that he had to clench his hand into a fist and glance away.

He needed to _think_. 

Even though their encounter with the challyrions and everything that followed had led him to believe she at least cared if he lived or died, he still wasn’t sure what exactly had happened between them.   

It was ironic really that the man who had the secrets of the whole cluster at his fingertips lacked the very intel he needed the most.

Keema was right, of course. The only way to find out was to talk. Simple as that. But that was precisely the problem.

Reyes was an exceptionally persuasive man. It was a natural talent that he’d been honing for years. He could talk anyone into anything, and for the most part it didn’t even require a conscious effort. People weren’t that hard to read - there were only so many common patterns in their behaviour, and the list of things that made them tick was even shorter. Once you’d identified those, you knew what to expect - and how to get what you want.

It was nothing but logic and cool calculation, simple and clear. Objective. And he preferred it like that. That he could do.  

He’d approached his collaboration with the human Pathfinder the same way. Her appearance on Kadara was a stroke of luck that he simply couldn’t not take advantage of. In his capable hands, she would’ve become a subtle and effective tool to tip the balance of power, allowing the Charlatan to bring his plans to completion in a couple of weeks instead of months. And the strategy worked beautifully.

But at some point she ceased to be the Pathfinder. She became Amelia instead - the girl whose wispy half-smile made his heart stutter.    

Since then things were anything but simple. Nowhere near clear. And subjective like they’d never been before.

Before, he was perfectly content with casual flings.

Before, if anything even remotely hinted at a commitment, the liaison was over.

Now Reyes was wandering in the dark, like a ship in the middle of the stormy ocean, lost without the guiding light of stars. He didn’t know how to traverse these strange waters, but if that was what it took to reach her, he would be damned if he didn’t try.

He searched his mind for something to say, but there was no anger spurring him on this time, no looming danger to distract him from his realisations, and he was struggling to find the right words.  

Surprisingly, it was SAM who broke the silence.

“Pathfinder, I’d like to make a comment relevant to the situation.”

He heard Amelia stir, smothering a sigh. “By all means, SAM.”

There was a short pause before the AI spoke up again, and Reyes could swear his voice sounded vaguely smug.

“I told you so.”

His interest piqued, he let his head roll to the side and saw Amelia pinching the bridge of her nose, dark eyebrows pulled down in a small frown.

“That sounds intriguing,” he noted, careful not to sound too amused.

“Ugh,” she exhaled, removing her hand to cast a sideways glance at him. “SAM just … gave me a tactical advice that I … dismissed.”

“The advice being?”

“I recommended Ryder to refrain from singing since it could attract attention to her presence,” SAM chimed in.

And now she was blushing again.

“Thank you for bringing that up, SAM,” she grumbled half-heartedly, not meeting his eyes.

“Well, he was right - it did attract attention,” Reyes replied, enjoying the sight of her coloured cheeks. “How could it not?”

At that she turned to him, definitely about to retort, so he continued before she had the chance to do that.

“It was beautiful.”

The look that settled on her face was familiar. He’d seen it before. It took only a moment for him to place it. The standoff with Zia, when he told her to leave Ryder alone. The night of Sloane’s party, right after he introduced her to Keema.

She was surprised by the words. And … uncertain? Like she wasn’t sure she’d heard it correctly.

Amelia glanced away, looking uncomfortable. “You don’t have to be polite with me.”

Reyes frowned. That simply wouldn’t do. He didn’t have any plan, but in this case maybe he didn’t need one at all. He could just try and tell her what was on his mind.

“Exactly,” he said, lifting up on one elbow. He waited until he’d caught her gaze and held it before speaking again, his voice low and deliberate.

“I’m not a man who repeats his mistakes. And lying to you was one of the worst mistakes I ever made.”

Her eyes widened and she went perfectly still. She seemed to search his face for something, then slowly sat up, shaking her head.

“That’s not…” she began, but he didn’t let her finish the sentence, rising after her and putting a tentative hand on her shoulder. Even though it was armoured, and he was wearing gloves, his fingers still buzzed with electricity at the touch.

“Amelia.”

She stiffened, but kept quiet.

A fragile hope blossomed to life in his chest, banishing the bitter cold that had seemed to settle in his very soul, and long before their drop into the lake.

“I won’t say I’m sorry, because that doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

She tilted her head slightly at that, but still hadn’t turned to him.

“But more than anything I want to make it right,” he continued, his voice growing quiet under the weight of the words. “I need you to tell me what to do… Because I am lost without you.”

Reyes couldn’t seem to draw a single breath as he watched her shift, as if she weren’t moving at all, until she was facing him, her eyes downcast. Like weightless clouds scurrying through the sky, warring emotions flickered across her features, one morphing into the other too quickly to take hold.

It might be because he couldn’t stand seeing her so torn. It might be because he was too afraid to watch her expression settle into that same lifeless marble mask that had haunted his dreams ever since she left. Whatever the reason, Reyes found himself reaching out to her. Gently placing his fingers under her chin, he drew her head up until their eyes met.

The swirl of restless thoughts in his mind died down, leaving a ringing silence in its wake. It felt like they reached the eye of the storm. All the things they’d said, all the words that begged to be spoken, the hurt, the sadness, the longing and hope existed on the very edge of his awareness, ethereal like a distant mirage. The only tangible thing was the inescapable pull he felt toward her.

And in that moment of perfect, crystalline stillness he was sure she felt it too.

Fingertips tracing the delicate curve of her jaw, Reyes moved his hand upward and cupped Amelia’s cheek, like he’d done all those weeks ago on the rooftop. Hesitantly, she reached out and pressed her palm to his chest, and his heart clenched with a sudden fear that she was going to push him away. Maybe she’d meant to, but instead her fingers hooked onto the clasp of his chest guard. Ever so slowly, they both began leaning forward. His gaze travelled to her lips and he felt her pulse quicken beneath his touch, echoing his own frantic heartbeat. His other hand went to her hip. She mirrored his motion, gliding her palm down his side, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. They were so close that he could feel the heat of her blush on his face.

But then her hand reached his waist and he flinched, a sudden stab of pain making him hiss.

Amelia immediately snatched it away, and just like that the spell of the moment was broken.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” she asked, her voice thick with concern.

“I’m not sure,” he frowned. “But I don’t think it’s something serious. I would’ve felt it earlier.”

“Let me see.”

Reyes really doubted that the matter required immediate attention - especially when it was interrupting something infinitely more important - but he knew her well enough to understand that arguing would be absolutely pointless.

He sighed and leaned back slightly, giving her space to inspect his side. Amelia kneeled next to him and switched on her omni-tool. Now that there was more light he could see a tear in the material, running parallel to one of the seams.

“This gash looks deep - no doubt the challyrion’s work. We should patch it up,” she concluded, straightening to rummage through her satchel that by some miracle was still slung over her shoulder. Her eyes flicked to his and she cleared her throat before continuing, “I’ll need access to the wound.”

He answered her question with a crooked grin. “Finally decided to get me naked?”

The look she gave him made Reyes chuckle - and wince slightly when the throbbing in his side made itself known.

“Okay, okay,” he smiled, lifting his hands to start working on the numerous clasps of his clothes. “I’ll be a good patient. I promise.”

While he was undressing, she busied herself with opening the medi-gel pack and procuring a bandage from a small first-aid kit she’d retrieved from her bag earlier, clearly giving the task much more concentration than it warranted.

His grin widened.

“I’m all set,” he announced, schooling his features into a serious expression. Teasing her right now would not be wise, no matter how tempting the thought of seeing her flustered was. There would be plenty of time for that later, and he was starting to feel good about his chances of actually having that time with her.

Though it was hard not to break into another smirk when he noticed her gaze linger on his torso just a bit longer than it was required by medical necessity. Her face became carefully neutral quite fast, and she set to work on the wound. With feather-light touches she applied a thick layer of medi-gel over it, making sure it properly sealed the gush, then started gently spreading it out. The analgesic effect kicked in almost instantly, making the area around the cut tickle with numbness. It wasn’t entirely welcome though as it had dulled the sensation of her bare hands on his skin.  

“Thank you,” she said quietly, without lifting her eyes, “for saving me.”

The memory of the challyrion’s sharp claws hovering just above her neck sent a chill down his spine. He didn’t want to think what could’ve happened if he hadn’t been fast enough.

“Anytime.”

Her fingers stilled momentarily, before resuming their work.

“But … don’t do stuff like that again, okay?”

 _Look who’s talking_ , he thought, but opted for a less provocative response.   

“You mean the kind of stuff involving dashing rescues worthy of action vids?”

“This isn’t a joke,” she returned.

His eyebrows pulled down.  He had a distinct feeling that it would be wiser to try and change the topic, but he just couldn’t let this go.  

“And what would you have me do? Stand by and watch?”

Done with the gel, she tore open the package with the bandage and proceeded to fixing it over the wound, her hands still very careful but somehow strained, her lips pressed into a thin line. When she was finished, she straightened and met his gaze with an unreadable one of her own.

“Yes. I could’ve handled it.”

The answer made him pause. He didn’t think that after everything she’d accomplished she would still feel the need to prove anything to anyone - and to him of all people - but maybe he was wrong?

“Come on,” he said, accompanying the remark with a warm smile, “even the almighty Pathfinder needs saving sometimes.”

Amelia was still watching him, but that strange, haunting look on her face hadn’t changed. Some hidden emotion was shining through the darkened hazel of her eyes. Sharp. Restless. Piercingly intense.  

“Promise me you won’t do it again.”

For a moment Reyes could only stare at her. Maybe he hadn’t been direct, but he thought he’d made his feelings quite obvious. Then how could she ask that of him?

Before he wouldn’t hesitate to use half-truths, convenient omissions and outright lies to get what he wanted. If that was an effective way to get the result, that was all that mattered.

And it would be easy to say what she wanted him to say.          

Before.   

“I can’t.”

Something in her expression shattered.

Amelia quickly looked away and stood. When she spoke, her voice sounded detached, as if it belonged to someone else.

“Then let’s just … get out of here and forget about all this.”

He felt like he’d just plummeted into the bone-chilling water all over again.  

“Forget about what?”

She turned away from him completely and stepped closer to the lake, wrapping her arms around herself, as if trying to get warm. He got to his feet and followed her, but her next words stopped him dead in his track - like he’d run into a wall.  

“The mistake we’ve almost made.”

He wasn’t sure if the echo repeating _mistake_ over and over again was real or just a trick of his suddenly numb mind. And then the icy grasp of fear clutching at his chest disappeared.

In its place came fire.       

“Is _that_ what you think?” he demanded quietly, forcing his tone to stay level.

How did this even happen? Mere moments before it seemed that this divide between them, this ocean of doubt and pent-up feelings had simply disappeared. But now it was back in place. Deeper. Wider.

Impossible to cross.

_Mistake._

The deafening silence stretched on, and he realised it would be better if she didn’t say anything. She didn’t really need to. Her answer was written in the tense line of her shoulders. It was in the way her nervous fingers tightly wrapped around her arms. In the determined stillness of her posture.  

He didn’t want to _hear_ her say it.

It cost him every last ounce of control to make the words sound calm.

“You know, you are probably right. And we don’t really need to wait. Consider it forgotten.”

Reyes turned around. He stalked back to his discarded clothes and began dressing. He barely noticed the revolting feel of saturated fabric clinging to his skin. It stole the last bits of warmth from his body, but he was oblivious to that too.

Just like he didn’t see the girl behind him shake with a silent sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making amends for my terrible update schedule with the longest chapter I've ever written!  
> Like always, my eternal love to everyone who's left kudos, and my infinite gratitude for the comments! There's nothing I enjoy more than hearing your thoughts, so don't be shy :D


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